At times, those we are ministering to face blocks in their discipleship journeys. These blocks develop from traumatic experiences, disappointments, and challenging life events. This article describes an innovative approach to help people overcome these blocks so that they can continue to move forward in their relationship with the Lord.

Three Examples

Samantha was stressed. Her country of ministry had recently gone through a violent change in government. The building where her husband worked was set ablaze, halting the ministry activities that used to take place there. In addition, she was facing several difficult relationships. To top it all off, she developed debilitating headaches. She was afraid she would have to leave the field.

Safiya was a very outgoing young woman. She always seemed to be laughing with a circle of women around her. Inside, however, things are not so happy. She wrestled with suicidal thoughts and believed that people spoke negatively of her. She had been married, but her husband left her to go abroad. Eventually she discovered that her husband had married another woman. She told me, “No one loves me. No one knows my pain.”

Several years ago, I faced a challenging period in leadership. First, a local board member tried to wrest control of a project that owned valuable assets. Then an angry former employee brought a serious allegation to the government, putting our entire organization at risk. In addition, I feared that the many white workers on our team were an easy target for increasingly frequent militant attacks. During this period, I developed insomnia. My sleep problems were severe enough that I was afraid that I would be unable to continue in my leadership role. One day as I went to pray, I got frustrated. What’s the point? God doesn’t answer my prayers.

In each of the above cases, Samantha, Safiya, and myself had begun to believe lies – lies about ourselves, lies about God, and lies about the situations we faced. These lies were discipleship blocks which limited our ministry effectiveness, impinged on our intimacy with Jesus, and had the potential to severely derail us in our walk with the Lord.

Main Idea

In this post I will describe a way to identify the lies that are blocking people in their discipleship journeys. I will show how, through a meeting with Jesus, they can replace the lies with truth, resulting in forward movement in discipleship and ongoing ministry effectiveness.

Assumption

A core assumption in this post is that God continues to talk to his children through the voice of the Holy Spirit. Stated another way, Jesus will come and live with us (John 14:18). And if he lives with us, he will certainly communicate with us. Jesus does not only speak through dramatic visionary experiences as he did for Paul on the Damascus Road (Acts 9:1-6) and for Ananias in Damascus itself (Acts 9:10–16). The Lord also speaks through less dramatic dreams and night visions (Acts 16:9) and through meditation on Scripture (Daniel 9:1–2; Acts 1:15–22). One of the primary ways he speaks, however, is through thoughts in our hearts given to us by the Holy Spirit as he did for Peter (Acts 10:19), Samuel (see 1 Samuel 16:6–7), and many other servants of God.[i]

The Source of Discipleship Blocks

From Satan’s conversation with Eve where he said, “You will not certainly die” (Genesis 3:4), we learn that implanting lies in hearts has been one of Satan’s core strategies from the very beginning. Indeed, Jesus teaches us that the language of lies is Satan’s native language (John 8:44).

Not only in Eden do we see lies and false beliefs rooted in people’s hearts. Peter demonstrated a deeply entrenched false belief system when he rebuked Jesus for talking about his death (Matthew 16:21–23). If demonic lies are not confronted, they can cause people to abandon their faith (1 Timothy 4:1).

So how can we confront Satan’s lies and help people move forward in their discipleship journeys? Let’s take another look at our three opening examples.

Samantha and Her Headaches

Samantha came for prayer, seeking relief from her headaches. As we chatted about her ministry and the things that were going on in her life, I felt that we needed to deal with agreements with the enemy she had unwittingly made before I prayed for healing. Agreements are where we have taken on the enemy’s way of thinking. In other words, these are lies we believe or false thinking patterns we have adopted.

I prayed a simple prayer asking the Lord to bring these agreements to mind. I then gave Samantha a pen and notepad so she could write down what the Holy Spirit revealed to her. Samantha noted the following agreements:

1. I need to prove that I am enough
2. I will never be able to please others
3. My future in my country of ministry will be cut short
4. God won’t heal me; I am helpless and unresourced
5. The future ends in failure

I marvelled at the clarity that Samantha received simply by taking five minutes to listen to Jesus. Asking Jesus to identify the lies, however, was only the first step. The next step was to ask him to speak his truth to counteract the lies. We took the lies to Jesus one by one and listened to his responses.

1. I need to prove that I am enough

Jesus gave Samantha a picture of a garden. Jesus was working in the garden and Samantha was sitting on some steps beside the garden. Jesus said to her, “Watch me work.” Tears came to Samantha’s eyes, indicating that Jesus had spoken into a deep area of her soul.

2. I will never be able to please others

Samantha saw a long winding path. There were people working the ground beside the path – her ministry colleagues and those who had spoken discouraging words to her. Samantha saw herself walking past these people, following Jesus. She heard him say, “You will have so many years walking with me. Don’t focus on others.” Since this answer seemed to touch on point 3, we asked Jesus about point 4.

4. God won’t heal me. I am helpless andunresourced.

As she reflected in Jesus’s presence, Samantha realized there were people around her who were willing to help her. She said, “God will bring the people I need to me.”

5. The future ends in failure.

For the last lie, I suggested that Samantha bring her dreams and offer them to the Lord. She heard Jesus say, “I put those dreams there. I will make them happen in my time.”

A simple meeting with Jesus helped Samantha to identify the lies she had been believing and replaced those lies with truth.

I checked in with Samantha the next day, and she was in a much better place emotionally. About three weeks later she reported, “Neil, I had a very encouraging day. I had a ton of things to do, and I didn’t take medicine for my headaches.” Samantha discovered that a dietary supplement was helping her headaches and a book she was reading helped her to banish her fears. The Lord had provided Samantha with the resources she needed.

Safiya and Her Emotional Pain

As with Samantha, when I sat with Safiya, we prayed and asked the Lord to identify lies that she had been believing. Then we asked the Lord to replace each lie with truth. In just a few minutes, Safiya identified six lies which I quickly scribbled down in my notebook. We then took each lie to Jesus. As Safiya related what Jesus was telling her, I jotted down the truths from Jesus in my notebook as well. At the end of the listening time, I read the lies and truths back to Safiya.

The joy on her face demonstrated that Safiya’s outlook had been changed through that time of listening to Jesus. The next day, in a meeting with her colleagues, she shared how the Lord had helped her through this prayer time.

God Doesn’t Answer My Prayers

After I thought to myself, “What’s the point? God doesn’t answer my prayers” I realized that something was wrong with my perspective. I decided to bring this issue to the Lord and see if I could hear his voice. As I quieted my heart before him, a childhood memory of not getting the toy set I wanted came to my mind. I thought this memory was a distraction to my prayers, so I tried to push it out so that I could focus on what the Lord was saying. But the memory kept coming back.

Finally, I wondered if the Lord wanted to speak to me through that memory. I recalled my parents taking me into a shop and finding the perfect toy for me: a model car that I could assemble myself, complete with a little electric motor to make it run. But since the box had been opened, the shopkeeper couldn’t guarantee that all the parts were still present. In the end, my parents didn’t buy the model car.

As I reflected on that memory, the Lord spoke to my heart, “Neil, I have given you so much more than that model car.” That was indeed true. Having obtained a degree in engineering and then having gained work experience in designing, building, and testing electronic prototypes with very expensive tools, the Lord had given me infinitely more than that model car.

But the Lord was touching on something deeper. Through that conversation the Lord was telling me that he was the giver of good gifts. He already had given me much bigger things than I could have asked for. In future he will continue to give me bigger things than I can ask for. This little prayer experience with Jesus broke a major lie I had been believing and ultimately resulted not only in better sleep, but a far more intimate relationship with the Lord.[ii]

Conclusion

Our colleagues, the people whom we minister to, and even we ourselves face blocks in our discipleship journeys because of lies that we believe. These lies hinder intimacy with Jesus and hamper ministry effectiveness. We can remove these lies by having a meeting with Jesus where we ask him to identify the lies and then ask him to replace the lies with his truth.

The next time you are in a discipleship situation where you suspect Satan’s lies are present, rather than trying to deal with the lies through your own reasoning, consider inviting the person you are discipling to listen to Jesus himself and then report back to you what he heard.

[i] For an extended treatment of the subject of listening to God’s voice, I refer the reader to Mark Virkler’s 62-minute audio teaching on the subject found at https://www.cwgministries.org/Four-Keys-to-Hearing-Gods-Voice.

[ii] Dr. Karl Lehman has written comprehensively on how we can process our painful memories with Jesus. See Karl Lehman, The Immanuel Approach: For Emotional Healing and for Life(Evanston: Immanuel Publishing, 2016) and An Introduction to the Immanuel Approach for Mental Health Professionals(Immanuel Publishing, 2023).

This post is reprinted from EMQ, Volume 61, Issue 4. Copyright © 2025 by Missio Nexus. Used with permission.

Photo Credits

Burning building photo by Stephen Radford on Unsplash

Stressed woman photo by Simran Sood on Unsplash

I asked my friend Zahid to tell his story this month. Although Zahid is not a Christian, he had a very meaningful experience. I believe his story needs to be shared.

Background

I am Zahid. I’ve worked at several private organizations in South Asia for about 14 years. Recently, I worked for five and a half years at the embassy of a Middle Eastern country. There, I worked with honesty and efficiency like I did in my previous organizations. My two managers who were foreign diplomats were happy with my work because I was very knowledgeable in all aspects of the visa department.

However, two of my South Asian colleagues envied me. They were the oldest officials in the visa center. They wanted a team where they would have all the power, and the others would simply do what they said. They felt threatened by someone as qualified as they were. So, they waited for an opportunity to achieve their goal.

At the end of 2019, the two foreign diplomatic managers were posted to other countries. Then my supervisor transferred me to another department where the work was less important.

COVID and Layoffs

Then, a new operations manager, a diplomat, came to South Asia. Within a few days of his arrival, the COVID pandemic started in South Asia. After COVID, the office ran on a limited scale. A few months later, the Middle Eastern country to which our embassy belonged started laying off employees in almost all their missions around the world.

When the layoffs began in South Asia, I wasn’t too worried because everyone liked me for my work. In addition, all my colleagues thought that I was at the top in terms of performance. When the embassy laid off even more staff, our new operations manager made a list of low-performing officials to lay off at the end of 2021. I was not one of them.

However, my supervisor saw that one of his favorites was on the list to be laid off, so he influenced the new operations manager to lay me off instead of his favorite. My supervisor explained that I was from a rich family, and I would be able to survive financially without a job after the pandemic.

Since the operations manager was new, he knew very little about me. Finally, what I did not expect happened. I was laid off. The truth is, I was not from a rich family, I was from a poor family. My operations manager later found out everything about me, about my family and my office performance, but by then it was too late. Much later, he said to me, “I was not well informed about you. If there was an opportunity to take on new people, I would definitely take you.” After COVID, I started having problems finding a job. I was unemployed for almost a year and a half. I suffered a lot both mentally and financially.

Feelings of Intense Hatred

When I learned that they excluded me because of jealousy and false accusations, I felt intense hatred towards those two colleagues. I constantly hated them in my heart. I wished them harm, and I cursed them. I became mentally disturbed and went into depression because of the trouble I was facing. I could not accept that my hard work could be rewarded so badly. My self-confidence deteriorated. After a few months, I recovered a little, but I could not forget the injustice done to me. I was not finding mental relief.

At the end of 2022, due to my wife’s job as a teacher in a college, I left the capital and moved to a small town. There I met Neil. One day I shared this incident with him. He told me to forgive both of my former colleagues. I was totally surprised at this. I should forgive those who did wrong?

He explained the importance and the benefits of forgiveness. After some discussion, I agreed with Neil, but I didn’t want to forgive them just then. I said, “I’ll do it after my early morning prayers when my mind is clear.” Two days later, after my morning prayers, with a cool head and meditative heart, I told the Creator that I have forgiven the wrongdoings of both of my former colleagues. I didn’t stop there. I forgave everyone who hurt me, everyone who spoke harsh words, and everyone who wounded me. I also told the Creator that I no longer hold any grudge against anyone in the world, nor do I curse anyone. I have forgiven everyone.

How I Felt Afterward

Since this incident, I felt a strange mental relief. I started feeling very light and my love for everyone increased. I no longer have any anger towards the two people who did the most harm to me in my life. It was like suffering from a severe headache all night and then feeling so good in the morning when the headache is gone. Now I feel so good. Previously, I had not been able to understand the great importance of forgiveness. Thank you, Mr. Neil.

And thank you, Zahid!

Why don’t you take a moment to pray for God’s blessings on Zahid? You could also ask the Lord if there is anyone in your life whom you need to forgive.

In this post, one of our readers shares her story of abandonment and healing.

Childhood Trauma

I was just four years old when my dad went abroad to work for the first time. After he left, I didn’t see him again for two years. I didn’t understand then what harm his absence would bring into my life. When he returned, I kept telling him to never leave me again.

Later, when I was thirteen, I went to spend the summer holiday with my aunt. While there I received a call from my dad. He was at the border, just about to go abroad again to work. He didn’t tell me in advance because he knew I would be upset.

When I got the call, I was shocked and angry. I didn’t even get the chance to see him before he left. Not knowing how to deal with I all the feelings I had, I placed the guilt on myself. I told myself that he left because he needed more money to raise me. From that point on, I blamed myself when others behaved badly toward me. I told myself that I was not enough, not good enough, not strong enough.

Adult Impact

Six years later, when I met my future husband, I did the same thing. I didn’t have the courage to tell him when something was wrong. I just kept telling myself that the problem was with me and that is why I feel hurt when he doesn’t give me time or attention, or when he does things that I don’t like. I was afraid that he would abandon me like my father did. I did whatever I could to make sure he would not leave.

Four months before our wedding, we met with an older couple for pre-marriage counseling. They discovered that I had all these fears. This couple helped me go back to my childhood where everything started. They asked me if I would like to try praying with them in a different way.

Jesus Brings Healing

As we prayed, they asked questions like:

• Jesus, why does her dad act like that?
• Jesus, where were you in that moment when she received the call?
• Jesus, what were you doing?
• Jesus, what do you want her to learn from this?

I began to picture Jesus in that room. I realized that I wasn’t alone, that I wasn’t abandoned, that it wasn’t my fault that my dad left to go abroad. I heard Jesus say that he is with me, and he always will be. I heard him say that I am loved and enough.

That was the first prayer for inner healing that I experienced. It didn’t resolve everything in a single moment, but it was an important starting point. My fiancé and I realized what caused the trauma, why I reacted in negative ways sometimes, and why I don’t have the courage to set boundaries.

Working on the healing of my inner child was the thing that changed our relationship and set the foundation for a happy and blessed marriage today.

Lonely child photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Happily married photo by Ryan Franco on Unsplash

Did you know that the devil seeks to use your pain to stunt you spiritually? Did you know that Jesus loves to talk to you when you are hurting? His words bring healing. Let’s see how this works.

You’re small-minded!

Last August we were doing a session on inner healing. During that session, Carol shared a memory from high school.

“Parochial.” That is what my home room teacher called me. And she said it all the way across the room, loud enough for everyone to hear. Parochial means “small-minded.” Her words stung, and her tone and facial expression communicated disdain for me. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, and minimized, wondering what I’d possibly done to deserve such judgement. Looking back, I can recognize the impact this has had upon my life. I felt shut down in a group setting. Even today, I hold back at times from sharing what I have to give in a group.

This is a perfect example of the Lord bringing Carol back to what some people call a “root memory.” Root memories have a powerful, shaping influence on our lives, often negatively. In root memories, lies get implanted. If the devil can shut us down in childhood, then we don’t live out our influence as children of the King in adulthood. I believe the Lord brought that memory to mind because he doesn’t want Carol to be shut down. He wants her to offer her gifts to others.

I’m not enough and nobody likes me

Along the same lines, Sarah shared how she processed a difficult experience.

I had a terrible team ministry experience when I was looking at different cross-cultural service opportunities. The team was in the storming phase and other members viewed me with suspicion. Ultimately they rejected me. I am still really sad that it didn’t work out. As I was reflecting on this with the Lord, the Lord brought me back to a childhood memory when I was in kindergarten or first grade.

I wanted to play with some other children on the playground. I was trying so hard to make it work, but it wasn’t going well. The playground attendant said, “Can’t you see that they don’t want to play with you? Go play by yourself or play with someone else.”

There was a clump of trees nearby, close to the road. I thought, OK, I’ll go play by myself in the trees. I headed for the trees. Then the playground attendant yelled at me for being too close to the road.

That was just a very painful memory. I haven’t thought about it in absolutely years. The root lie in both the team ministry experience and the playground situation is “I am not enough, and nobody likes me.” What I sense God saying to me in these moments is, “You might not be enough, but I am always enough, and I like you.”

I once read a book called Hurt People Hurt People. So many people just respond to pain in their lives and pass it on to other people.

As I was reflecting on the team experience and the playground situation, this was one of the first times I heard God speaking in his still small voice. He said to me, “Healed people heal people and I am the God of healing.”

Thanks, Carol and Sarah for sharing your stories.

A simple inner healing process

There are many ways to experience inner healing. Here is one simple way to deal with a difficult emotion that many people have found helpful.

• Connect with Jesus in a happy memory. The joy and gratitude from the happy memory prepares your heart to hear Jesus’s voice.
• Identify the painful emotion you are experiencing. Ask Jesus to take you to the first time you experienced this emotion.
• In the painful memory ask Jesus what lie you believed. Ask him what truth he wants to replace the lie with.
• If you get stuck, simply return to your initial happy memory.

That’s one simple process. But it works so much better when you have someone to do it with. Why don’t you join one of the next cohorts?

Photo by Юлія Дубина on Unsplash

“I’m depressed,” Jim said.

“How long have you been feeling that way?” I asked.

“Ever since I moved to this country.”

Jim, Steve, and I were sharing and praying together during the small group time at an international workers conference in South Asia. The day before, Steve had shared deeply, setting the tone for today’s meeting.
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Hearing Jim talk, I suspected there might be some buried issues in his heart, leading to his sense of depression. I asked Jim if he would like me to lead him in an inner healing prayer session. He was interested so I explained the simple inner healing model that I have found to be most effective.

The prayer model is this: First, connect with Jesus in an emotionally positive way. Then, ask Jesus if there is any lie embedded in your thinking. Lies we believe are frequently the source of our unhelpful thinking and behavior. After the lie is identified, ask Jesus what truth he wants to give in place of the lie.

Jim was keen to give this a try, so we plunged in. I suggested that Jim start by picturing Jesus sitting at the table with the three of us. After a few moments of silence, I invited Jim to share what he was thinking and feeling.

Jim said, “Jesus is behind me.”

“What is his emotion toward you?” I asked.

“Joyful and playful.”

“How do you feel in response to Jesus’s emotions?”

“Irked that Jesus is so joyful.”

I suspected that maybe I had just stumbled upon a buried lie. I advised Jim to ask Jesus what lie he was believing.

Jim responded, “That a relationship with Jesus is a waste of time because I am not doing anything. If I am not doing something, I am not up to par.” I noticed a smile playing on Jim’s face. He told us that he just saw himself falling back into Jesus’s lap.

I continued my questions. “When did you start believing this lie?”

“I was trying to be number one in high school and college. This was pleasing others. Well, maybe it was pleasing myself. I never took a sabbath.”

Knowing that a lot of our dysfunction stems from a warped sense of identity, I prompted another question. “Who does Jesus say that you are?”

“He says, ‘You are mine.’”

Clarifying what I had heard so far, I said, “I think the issue here, the lie that you are believing, is your value depends on your performance. Ask Jesus what the truth is.”

“Grace.”

“What does grace look like?”

“Walking at Jesus’s speed.”

“What does this look like in practice?”

“Leaning back and resting in him and talking with him whenever I need to, like I am doing right now.”

Trying to get a handle on the encounter he had just had with Jesus, Jim kept asking, “What just happened?”

What happened was Jim had an experience with Jesus, an experience where he heard Jesus speaking into his heart addressing issues that were impacting his life. The good news is this kind of experience is not hard to replicate. All you need is a quiet place, a listening ear, faith to focus on Jesus, and some gentle questions.

Note: This story is used with permission of the participants, but names have been changed.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
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